My Aspergers Child: Aspergers Subtypes: Rule-Oriented, Logic-Oriented ...: "It is important to recognize that each Aspergers youngster is different, with his or her own unique set of issues. No two are exactly the sa..."
This article gives me a lot of clarity. It's great that there is so much insight into Aspergers "these days".
The three main Aspergers subtypes are explained:
The Rule-Oriented Child, the Logic-Oriented Child, and the Emotion-Oriented Child.
Additionally, several individual subtypes exist under each of the three main Asperger types.
I would say Orangeboy is the Rules Oriented type. The subtypes that also apply to him are, of course, ADHD with a tendency toward OCD behaviors and some paranoid anxiety.
This helps me see much more clearly why Orangeboy is so perfect at school and so silly, emotional or bossy at home. Why he tends to react toward me as if I'm some sort of heavy-weight bully and yet he argues and cries at his Dad almost daily.
In his eyes, I am the ruling authority at home. He is a little paranoid that I am out to "get him" or at least, catch him breaking rules. That's why he jumps and stops whatever he is doing or saying almost every time I walk into the room. (Which drives me crazy!)
His Dad is a little more relaxed at home and is ready to play, engage in silliness, or maybe ask the kids to help with some task or project. Orangeboy doesn't know Dad's "rules" and is not sure what they are going to be doing together. I think this is contributing to his tendency to get frustrated, emotional, or sassy with his Dad. When Dad gives him instructions he often argues or just starts to cry. It took me awhile to decide that he wasn't afraid of his Dad as an intimidating male authority. That's not it at all. He is frustrated as to what the rules of interacting with Dad are. Sometimes Dad teases and plays and sometimes he gives an instruction and expects respectful compliance.
Bossiness with his peers in play or social situations, but good cooperation during group activities at school seem contradictory until you realize that in school he is confident about the rules and expectations; whereas he is trying to create rules and gain control in the freer social situation.
Contradictory behavior is now made much clearer. Thanks to the Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook!